Banderites are mocking captive Moskals…
They force them to wash their feet, brush their teeth, and use the toilet…
*****
Scientists have proven that a dog sniffing another dog’s butt gets more information than a person watching Russian news.
*****
Surzhyk is an act of rape on the Russian language, so don’t be ashamed, speak as you can!
*****
A Ukrainian caught a goldfish and said:
– I want the dead Moskals to float along the Dnipro.
Fish: – Not all Moskals are so bad; some of them are good.
The Ukrainian agrees:
– Well, fine, then let the bad Moskals float in bad coffins, and the good ones in good coffins.
*****
Valenki (traditional Russian felt boots) in Russia are not just a national type of footwear.
Valenki in Russia are a national character type!
*****
When a Cossack flashes his saber, a Moskal soils his pants!
*****
– Dad, why are there no Moskals in “Star Wars”?
– Because it’s the future, son…
*****
– Why is a Moskal the best organic fertilizer?
– Because it’s 100% crap…
*****
Old Banderite’s instructions:
– Moskal always lies.
– What if he doesn’t lie?
– Poke him with a stick. He is probably dead.
*****
What’s the difference between a Moskal wedding and a Moskal funeral?
– One less drunken person at the funeral…
*****
History of Russia:
1157-1453 – Part of the Golden Horde.
1721-1917 – Empire of the Tsars.
1917-1991 – Empire of Evil.
1991-1999 – Empire of the Drunk.
1999-2023 – Empire of the H*e.
*****
A black guy in an embroidered shirt is riding a Lviv tram and reading the newspaper “For Free Ukraine.”
A rural man sees this and can’t resist:
– Tell me, do you know how to read in Ukrainian?
– Of course…
– And you understand Ukrainian?
– I understand, for I am a true Ukrainian.
– And who am I then?
– I don’t know… By the look of it – either a Jew or a Moskal.
*****
Two crocodiles meet:
– So, how was your hunt?
– I ate two blacks. And you?
– I ate one Moskal.
– You lie, breathe out…
*****
I once heard from my grandfather the saying, “a roasted Moskal.” Now I understand that it’s the only proper state for a Moskal.
*****
Never look for raspberries in crap or a human being in a Moskal – folk wisdom.
*****
– Friend, I heard your son works in Moscow.
– Yes, yes! He works in a crematorium – burns Moskals, and they even pay him for it.
*****
WOW:
– What’s the difference between Ukrainians and Russians?
– There are few of us, but we are a pack.
– And Russians?
– There are many of them, but they’re a herd.
*****
The secret of the Russian tricolor is revealed!
First, White ruled Russia, then – Red…
And now – Blue!
*****
Don’t even think about losing morale.
Invaders and the Russian ruble are falling.
Glory to Ukraine!
*****
– Dad, what does our flag represent?
– Blue – the sky, yellow – a wheat field.
– And what does the Moskal flag mean?
– White flowers on a red cemetery.
– And the blue?
– They stole the blue from us.
*****
What’s common between a Moskal and a sperm cell?
– Both have only one in a million chance to become a human.
*****
If you really want to kill Moskals but are afraid to be on the front line, you can kill the Moskal within yourself…
*****
SMS conversation:
– What are you doing?
– Falling asleep.
Falling asleep without me?
– Burying a Moskal with soil!
*****
In the streets of Lviv, someone asks an old man:
– What’s the best way to get into the Russian consulate?
The old man thinks for a bit, then replies:
– Probably with a grenade launcher.
*****
In a Ukrainian school. Teacher:
– Vasyl, where is Russia located?
– My dad doesn’t allow me to swear!
*****
The German has a wife and a mistress. He loves his wife.
The Frenchman has a wife and a mistress. He loves his mistress.
The Jew has a wife and a mistress. He loves his mother.
The Moskal has a wife and a mistress. He loves Putin…
*****
Russia is probably the only psychiatric hospital where the chief doctor is elected by the patients themselves…
*****
– What do you call Russian soldiers after meeting a Bayraktar?
– Turkified!
*****
Russians are the first nationality in history to flee their country not because they were attacked but because they attacked.
*****
A Moskal brags to a friend.
– Sanya! I was in Ukraine, and I took revenge on the Ukrainians for Donbas!
– Really! How?
– I crapped on Khreshchatyk!
– And they didn’t arrest you?
– No. I did it carefully. In my pants.
*****
In Ukraine, even from an atheist,
one can hear:
Thank God, I am not a Moskal!
*****
Fishing together, a Ukrainian and a Moskal caught a goldfish. The fish says:
– Let me go, and I’ll grant you any three wishes.
The Moskal says:
– I caught the fish by the mouth, so I’ll make two wishes, and you caught it by the tail, you make one.
Fine, says the Ukrainian. The Moskal says:
– First: I want no Ukrainians in all of Russia, and second: that there is a huge fence around all of Russia!
Fish: 1, 2, 3 – all done.
Ukrainian:
– Fish, is it true that there are no Ukrainians in Moskal nation? – true, says the fish; is it true that there is a massive fence around Russia? – true, says the fish. Then the Ukrainian says:
– Then pour concrete over it all!
